Happy Birthday Einstein. Have a slice of π.

Its an important day today. It was the birth of one Albert Einstein and also the happiest day of the year, Pi Day. As such, its definitely a cause for celebration. So I celebrated by going to watch some sports. I just got back from the Shanghai Sharks game. Gotta say, it was pretty awesome. For those of you that are unaware, the Shanghai Sharks are the ‘professional’ basketball team in the CBA (Chinese Basketball Association). Note that ‘professional’ was put in parentheses. Reason being that quality and level of play were….well lets just say that if that was professional basketball then I played pro ball in high school. Obviously the CBA is no NBA but it was still quite entertaining. It had all the elements of a standard game; cheerleaders, dodgy looking hot dogs, artificial noise makers, and of course, a delinquent fan who gets escorted out by police. All in all, a fantastic experience. Next year, consider me a Shanghai Sharks season ticket holder.

Who knew St. Patty's Day was a week long event in Shanghai. There was even a parade yesterday. And Friday there was a live music concert going on. I guess there must be a huge Irish contingent here or something. And apparently there was a carnival going on last night in FuxingPark. Figured that would be worth a check so I gathered the troops last evening and went to see whats what. By the time we got to there though, it was non-existent. So rather than do nothing, we embraced our right to wander the streets with open beer and drink at our leisure without fear of police persecution. The only thing better than a good stroll around town with a nice beer in hand is a good stroll around town with 2 beers in hand. After getting a few couple brews under our belts, we decided to move on over to Windows Too for some cheap libations and enjoy some light hearted banter. That place is alright. Tons of foreigners roaming around if you like that type of thing. Chandeliers made from empty alcohol bottles. Sports playing on multiple TVs. The excessive drinkers passed out outside on the ground. Ultimately, cheap drinks so it was pretty alright.

Zeal. From there we moved on to Zeal. My coworker was promoting the place since his roommate was DJ'ing last night so I figure it would be worth the visit. Rather than taxi the 1.3 km away, we decided to just walk there. And of course, what walk would be complete without a refreshing beer. 15 minutes later, we make it to Zeal. Hip hop mixes fill the place. Mostly Asians compared to the previous venue. In fact the only non Asians there were either with me or were my coworkers. It was a typical club vibe. Music going, people dancing, libations flowing. The usual. That was until I went to the bathroom. This place had bathroom attendants hanging which I hadn't seen a ton of inShanghai. Bathroom attendants at bars are possibly the most useless thing ever. I mean really, I can't turn on my own tap or grab my own paper towels? Anyway, that doesn't matter. So I head inside, choose my urinal and start doing my biz. A few seconds pass by and I hear someone come up behind me. Whatever, no big deal, it’s a bathroom, it’s a busy place. Continue doing my thing. Then all of a sudden, I start getting a massage. What the h? I turn my head a bit and out of the corner of my eye, I see who's giving me this sensual rub down. After a brief glimpse, I thought it was one of my friends. No biggie, I figured it was one of those instances when a friend walks up behind you, gives you couple kneads to the shoulders, which lasts maybe 1 second, and then says 'Wassup'. So I turned my head back around and concentrated on peeing. The 'Wassup' never came. All of a sudden, the massage turned from being just a quick couple shoulder rubs to a freaking massage therapy clinic. I'm getting my neck massaged, upper back, shoulders, getting my spine worked, lower back, the works. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON!? So I turn my head around completely this time to get a real look and it was the bathroom attendant. I was getting a therapeutic massage while urinating! Wtf?!. And I had barely done up my zipper when he reaches around me and does the crack the spine maneuver. After he put me back down, he starts working the shoulders again. So I'm done peeing but this guy is still going to town on my back so I just kinda stand there in front of the urinal wondering what the protocol was here. Do I stay? Do I go? I think I stand there for a good 30 seconds after I finish draining my bladder before I decide that this guy would probably go all night if I kept standing there so I slowly pull away. He gets the hint and runs ahead of me to get the door for me. I go to wash my hands and the other attendant turns the water on for me while the bathroom guys starts going at the massage thing again. Now at this point I couldn't decide if it was cool or if I was getting violated. I was on the cusp of yelling STRANGER DANGER. Anyway, after he tried to crack my back AGAIN, I gave the two attendants a tip and got the f out of there. From then on, every time I had to pee, I pretty much ran in, peed as fast as humanly possible and ran out before they got the chance to give me another succulent rubdown.

In conclusion. Pretty standard weekend of debauchery and negligible sleep. Its gonna make for a hard week of work. So begins week 2 in my pursuit of happyness. Happy Pi Day.

"3.141592653589793"

- Calvin Duong