A case of the Mondays.

I didn't really want to write today but it was so perverse that I felt the urge. Monday's generally suck but today I really wasn't feeling it. I mean first I woke up later than anticipated. Probably due to the combined 10 hours of sleep i got all weekend. Plus I went to the Sharks game last night of course so I couldn't go to bed early. Whatever the reason, end result was me with minus 20 extra minutes in the morning. So I was left with a solid 20 to do my biz in order for me to make it to work just on time. Yet another day without being early. Tomorrow's another day. Anyway, I planned it so by the time I was dressed and groomed semi-quickly, I could leave and still manage to be a bit early but man was I starving. I had to eat or it was going to be a really uncomfortable morning. As a result, I had to add on some extra time to eat. So I boil the water for my noodles while I dress and clean myself. Dressing done. Put noodles in. Groom myself. Noodles done. Perfect. I sit down, and my good fortune ran out. I take a bit. One single solitary bite. Shift my body ever so slightly and....

KERRRRRSPLATTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KERRRRRRPLUNKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLAMMMOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took a good 3o seconds after this and just stared. Stared blankly in shock and awe at this wonderful display of luck. I know I only had one bite but by this time I wasn't hungry anymore. I was now full on rage. I took another 30 seconds to collect myself before I began the task of cleaning this crap up. The thought did cross my mind to just leave it there but I'm sure i'd come home and find it feeding a cockroach family of 4 plus extended relatives so i decided to clean it up. Mopped and all. Well kinda. I think i did one sweep over the spot. But not before I captured the moment in a picture. After that mess was cleaned up I had to leave for work. Now I was just going to make it to work right on time and my rage was gone so now I was hungry again. The metro ran smoothly today, although it smelt especially foul today. A mixture of urine, smoke and grease. Suffered through 25 minutes of that sweet sweet stench. Got off at my stop and did my ever famous speed walk-gallop.

Got to work at the stroke of 9. Then began the most useless day in the history of work days. I was so freaking tired that I don't think I did anything productive till I ordered food for lunch. I had the energy level of an overworked Chinese child labourer...after making his 10 thousandth soccer ball...that day...after a morning of harvesting...all the rice in China...on Ambien. I was moving as fast a stampeding bale of turtles (thats what a group of turtles is called btw) through molasses. I think the general ambiance of the work place was pretty similar though. We WERE Zombieland. There was a point when I literally sat there and shuffled papers back and forth to make it seem like I was doing something. Not even in manner that resembled work. Envision me sitting there with both my hands on two separate piles of papers...and shaking them back and forth just to make the sound of rustling paper. Yeah, how sad is that. I also checked my e-mail 30+ times today. Half of which was within the last hour when I alternated between refreshing my inbox and checking the clock. Eventually 6 rolled around and I finally got-the-f-out.com. Tomorrow's another day. Lets hope I don't come down with a case of the Tuesdays.

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life"

- Unknown